Travel, travelogging, and MORE!

 This week was a tough week. There are several things I havent been too happy about that fueled these feelings of inferioirty the past couple days. Number one is my weight. I've gained a few pounds and felt bloated for a few months. This is making me feel really bad about my looks and overall feeling. I'm not happy with where my body is at and i really want to lose weight in a healthy way. So focusing on this and getting down on myself made me spiral into a self hatred talk of anixiety, depression and just feeling like an unworthy loser. This combusted this weekend, on Saturday. The day I recuperate and rest, I was crying because these feelings were reaching a tiping point. I really needed to reevaluate how I see myself and why these feelings were getting to me. Self love is so much more than I think it is. I dont always take care of my body and spirit. I really need to put good foods in me and excercise. It's always been a struggle. But Im going to give this a shot. Today

 So I recently decided to go on a little diet. Nothing drastic, just trimming down on a few details like sugar, less bread and less soda. And going for 30 minute walks a day. A few days ago i felt completely unhappy with my weight and body. At first it felt so hard to eat healthy. I felt like healthy stuff is too expensive and hard to find. Today I had a meal replacement juice and tofu for dinner. It was not bad and I do think i feel better than usual today. Oh...and I got my ears piereced...just a sidenote hahah. But really eating healthy is not hard. Somoene said somehting so beautifully yesterday that has changed my mindset and approach about eating well. She said if you drove up and down the street both ways you will find mcDonalds everywhere. They wouldnt be hard to find. But if you want to be healthy you would have to find the healthier places to eat. They are good for you so they are hard to find..as are people. It really made me realise that anything that is good for you in lif

 MONDAYS!!! Mondays really are the worst. They are the slowest and exruciating start to a hellish week. My Monday was just awful today because of one particular person. A coworker of mine disrepsected my boundaries and I felt I needed to speak up this time around. I always struggle with avoiding conflict in work places. I dont say anything but sometimes you just need to let people know they cant mess with you. I asserted to her that I did not like what she did. When I called her out she got so angry that she threw a temper tantrum at me. I felt so direspected and angry. How could she turn the whole thing back on me? She clearly made the mistake, so why did she take her frustrations back out on me? I hate work, having a 8 to 5 is torture. Absolute torture. You have to watch everything you say, be profesional even when someone is harassing you. Its just not fair.

Investing in MYSELF... Today I took out time and a beautiful amount of money to pamper myself. It;s always so hard to do so and even when I do I sell myself short. But I promised myself to not hold onto money for the sake of hoarding, and that i'd invest in quality things that I like. I got my nails done and I feel so happy everytime I look down at them. Like a little cheerfulness lifts me up! And I bought a whole new wardrobe. Mind you, ive gained a little weight and most of my clothes werent fitting anymore. I felt so bad about this and just told myself i'll work off the weight instead of purchaisng new stuff. But its awful when I stare into my closet and nothing fits. So I got a whole new look and feel and Im so excited about it. I also ran into another issue today while buying some stuff..buying things that i think maybe others people would like more than me. I was going to buy a really expensive perfume because I felt like it would be more sophisticated. But honestly, perf

 it's so exhausting to always come from a place of strength, isnt it? To always know what to say, to always know when to stand up and how to stand up. To have the perfect words in a situation. It's something I struggle with. In our fast and dangerous world, I always feel a need to protect myself. And Im always in an attack mode and it truly costs me. Weeks and months go by and i start to feel I have hardened into this stone of a person who doesnt know how to just be as I am. Always being strong and tough hurts me. Sometimes I just want to be weak, I want to be fragile and broken. I want my heart to crack open and feel. I forget this all the time. And its days like this when a voice tells me...I just want to be vulnerable. Like a neglected child beckoning for attention. Like that 6 yr old self that wants someone to look at them and notice what they need. Let my heart open, flood, and feel.

The trip FROM HELL!!! This past weekend my family and I decided to take an impromptu trip to Atlanta, Georgia. Now, I love reading and looking at pictures of travel and people's adventures on social media. It's soooo inspiring and makes me want to live those sorts of experiences. So we naively booked a hotel in Atlanta and immediately started fantasizing about all the cozy cafes we'd eat in, beautiful parks we would hit up and any other adventurey types of things you see on the internet. Getting there was a HUGE hassle. We drove for almost 7 hours, hitting traffic in the middle for a really long time. It was excruciating...to sit there without inching for an hour. OH. GOD. the last time I saw a bottle neck like that was when i lived in New York. Upon reaching Georgia, it was truly the trip from hell we were not anticipating. The hotel we booked was overflowing with guests coming in and out. And...there was no parking left. So we had to park a block away and across the stree